May
09

The Customer

The Customer is a poem by Frank Halliwell, from Jimboomba, Australia. This poem is really funny, or at least it was to me, so sit back and enjoy. Have a great weekend.

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“Good morning! Thanks for calling us!
We’re pleased to hear from you!
Your call’s important to us
So we’ve placed you in a queue.

Please find your account number and
Be sure it is correct..
It’s twenty digits long and if you
Mis-type, I’ll reject.

I’ll lead you through the whole routine
Please use your touch type phone.
Press eight and follow with the hash
After you hear the tone.

If you are a new client here..
Press two, ..if old, press three.
Press four in case we’ve done something
With which you disagree!

You have pressed four, please wait a moment
While I transfer you..
And please enjoy, while we play you
A symphony or two!

Our staff are all too busy now
To talk to such as you
Your call is so important that
We’ve placed you in a queue.”

Time passes and the music lingers
On, and bye and bye..
My cheek and ear go fast asleep,
My wrist gets R.S.I.

But wait! It may be there is hope!
I hear a ringing sound,
At last a human voice is heard
After the runaround!

“Good morning, this is Ladies wear
And may we help somehow?
Complaints?.. Oh! Just hang on a tick
I’ll transfer you right now!…”

***
“Good morning! Thanks for calling us!
We’re pleased to hear from you!
Your call’s important to us
So we’ve placed you in a queue.

  • Andrew Favreau

    This poem resonated with me after spending three days trying to get through to a live customer service representative for FTD. The flowers they sent my mother for Mother’s Day were wilted and tired, and although they have a response mechanism via their Web site, I wasn’t able to get this issue resolved before the holiday.

    That said, leveraging Web-based communications mechanisms provide great alternatives to better serve customers and prevent the inherent frustration of customer service.

    I was most impressed with the customer service process at T-Mobile. If you are stuck waiting in the virtual queue, T-Mobile allows you to enter your phone number and a representative will call you back when it’s your turn. This prevents neck strain, and demonstrates how this company values its customers’ time. Wish more companies did this. Happy Mother’s Day.

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