â€œIs it possible to successfully raise a family and have a career in the arts?â€Â
Thereâ€™s a question that perplexes many aspiring and emerging artists.Â My answerâ€¦absolutely. If you truly want these things out of life, unconditionally YES!Â
Of course, building a great arts careerÂ is never easy.Â Nor is having a family.Â But the best things in life usually arenâ€™t.Â And if youâ€™re truly devoted to both visions, each will add fulfillment, meaning, and depth to the other.
If youâ€™d like to have your cake and eat it tooâ€”the joy of raising a family while following your passion for a careerâ€”here are some suggestions that make this proposition more feasible.
1)Â Â Â Choose your partner wisely.Â The word â€œpartnerâ€ is apropos.Â Itâ€™s essential to find someone who communicates well, shares similar values, and supports your artistic lifestyle.Â It also helps if you actually like the other personâ€¦a lot.
2)Â Â Â Choose a complementary partner.Â Though love may flow, it can be tough when two parents have parallel career goals.Â For example, if both of hope to land an orchestra position or college gig, securing work in the same city may be near impossible (unless you met on the job). It is tricky when two parents are regularly on the road, or both are subjected to the roller coaster finances of freelancing.Â Finding a partner who balances you professionally is a great asset.
3)Â Â Â Become financially literate.Â Both raising a family and supporting an arts habit require money.Â Learn how the money game works, and win big.
4)Â Â Â Consider cost of living.Â Not everyÂ artist must live in NYC, LA, or other celebrated urban area with an exorbitant cost of living.Â Raising a family is much easier in a house than a studio apartment.Â Pick your geography carefully, and reside where you can afford.
5)Â Â Â Live by family. It is extremely helpful to live close to at least a few family members who babysit in a pinch, play an active role in your kidsâ€™ development, and provide moral support for the ups and downs that accompany an artisticÂ existence.Â When this is impossible, consider â€œadoptingâ€ some neighbors or colleagues who invest positive energy in your family.
6)Â Â Â Make great decisions early on.Â Living gig to gig is expected when youâ€™re 20, but not a great place to be when 30, 45, or 60.Â Establish a sustainableÂ arts business (aka your career) that automatically generates opportunity and capital as you age.
7)Â Â Practice a lot when youâ€™re young.Â If you think things are busy now, just wait until you have a family!Â One of the first activities to be compromised is often practice time.Â The more you master your art technically when young, the better youâ€™ll be able to cope with this reality.
8)Â Â Â Become a master of time management.Â Everything takes time. Learn how to work efficiently and live exceptionally.Â For time management strategies, click here.
9)Â Â Â Prioritize work and prioritize family.Â Itâ€™s easy to get caught up in just one.Â Some artists become so focused on their work, they neglect spending quality time with loved ones.Â Others become absorbed in family life, and cease to remain active vibrant artists.Â There is enough time to do both if you want them badly enough.
On a proud personal note, I just became a father for the second time!Â My baby daughter Alaina Avery Cutler was born June 25, 2010.Â Her brother Ashton Ellington, barely two, couldnâ€™t be happier about it.Â
And neither could I.Â The time since Ashton was born has been one of the most active periods of my professional life.Â And spending quality time with my family has made the endless hours and hard work required to succeed as a musician all the more meaningful.
Â Good luck to you.